“Change Your Thoughts and Change Your World”

WHEN she walked into the café the conversation stopped. Andy, who was sitting to my left, nudged me slightly with his leg and pointed with his head at the beautiful girl who’d just walked in on her own. She immediately made her way behind the counter and took to work – aha! She was a waitress.

Paul, who was sitting opposite me, took to her immediately.

“She’s gorgeous,” he commented, trying not to say it too loudly in case she heard.

I agreed. She looked about 22 or 23, was no more than 5 foot 9, had long, dark brown hair, a beautiful face, and wore the sexiest red lipstick you’ve ever seen on a woman. She had serious sex appeal. A solid 8.5/10.

I’d only met Paul a couple of months before, but had known Andy the best part of my time at uni.

Our conversation continued. We’d only finished uni a few days before and were discussing where we were going in life and what our plans were.

But we kept getting distracted by the sexy waitress who every now and then would be taking cups of coffee away from the nearby tables. And every time she came within a few feet the conversation seemed to turn to her.

I’d never seen Paul with a woman. He’d spoken about ex-girlfriends, but I’d never seen him with one. So I thought now would be a good time to put him to the sword.

“Paul, if you like her, crack on over there and get her number. I bet you could be sleeping with her by Friday.”

“No chance mate, look at her. She’s amazing. I bet she’s got a man.”

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re probably right.”

- Henry Ford

Andy decided to make his way home. He had to get to the gym later that day and wanted to pack up his belongings before leaving Nottingham permanently for home.

It was just me and Paul. He wanted to grab another drink at the coffee shop next door. And it seemed pretty unlikely that he was going to do anything about his attraction to the waitress.

I could have persuaded him to make a move for her, but experience has taught me to ‘Never teach pigs to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pigs.’ I thought it best to let actions speak louder than words.

“Watch this,” I said to Paul, picking up my empty water bottle and glass and his empty coffee cup and saucer and then walking over to the counter.

I’d timed it to perfection, and caught the waitress on her own, with her colleague out the back somewhere.
“I’d like to pay the bill please,” I said.

“Certainly. I’ll just total it up for you.” She made her way to the till and was totalling up our bill with her back to me.
“Hmm… Nice body,” I was thinking.

After about 10 seconds of flicking through bits of paper and tapping at a calculator it became clear she was a bit confused with our bill.

“It can’t be easy,” I said.

“What’s that… Sorry?” she said whilst scratching her head with a puzzled look on her face.

“Juggling two things all the time… Something tells me you’re a student.”

“That’s right, I am, yes,” she commented, still a bit baffled.

“Well, working and studying can’t be easy. You know, having your mind in two different places all the time.”

“Tell me about it! I’ve got to write 10,000 words for next Friday.”

“Something interesting I hope.”

“Kind of. It’s a fashion assignment.”

“Cool. I’m surprised your year’s not finished yet. Anyway, I thought you might be a fashion student. You’re dressed pretty fashionably.”

“Thanks.”

“Not as fashionably as me, but still quite fashionable.”

She broke out in laughter and flashed a radiant smile. Then she turned around, and walked over to do the calculations in front of me. I’d got her full attention.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah go for it,” she said.

(By this stage she’d totalled up the bill and told me the amount due. I decided to pay by card to buy a few extra seconds).

“Are you from the Mediterranean or Middle East or something?”

“Kind of, yeah. My mum’s English, and my dad’s Iranian.”

“Really? That’s cool. One of my friends is from Iran. She tells me that once you go Persian there’s no other version.”
“Ha-ha-ha. I’ve not heard that one before. What about you?”

“That’s top secret… Hey listen, I’ve got to go. But I tell you what, put your magic number in here (whilst passing her my phone) and we’ll go out for a couple of cheeky cocktails. What do you say?” I said this whilst holding eye contact with her and a cheeky little smile.

“Well, why don’t you give me your number and then I’ll get in touch with you?”

“Don’t be silly. I take the numbers.”

“Okay. I don’t know my number… Let me get it out my phone.”

After we exchanged numbers, and I had learned her name by what she had saved on my phone, I said, “I’ll give you a call later… Your name’s Leila, right?”

“Yeah. What’s yours?”

“I’ll give you a clue: Three letters and it begins with S.” I started walking off.

After pausing to think, she said, “Erm… Sam?”

“Bingo.”

I grabbed Paul. We put our sunglasses on and headed out the café into the summer sun. He was shocked, but tried not to show it. Chatting up a woman and taking her number at 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon wasn’t something he was accustomed to witnessing.

I called Leila a few hours later and arranged a date for the next evening at 9.30. It turns out Paul was right. Friday was too soon to sleep with her. But the Sunday after wasn’t.

Tip: Never give a woman your telephone number and expect her to contact you. The chances of it happening are slim to none. You must lead the way, and always take her number.

Tip: When taking her number it’s best to either give her a missed call there and then or put your number in her mobile phone – this way you avoid her not answering a call from a number she doesn’t know.

PUAs vs. Non-PUAs Thoughts and Beliefs

Ever hear a friend say any of the following?

• “I can’t talk to her now. It’s not the right time. I’ll talk to her later.”
• “She must have a boyfriend. Look at her.”
• “She’s wouldn’t be interested in me.”
• “She’s a good girl. She won’t have sex with me tonight.”
• “She’s too good-looking for me. I don’t stand a chance.”

Yes? Well, me too. These are the thoughts and beliefs of the Pauls of this world. Remember what he said earlier: “No chance mate, look at her. She’s amazing. I bet she’s got a man.” And time after time people with similar views see guys like me bed woman after woman after woman.

Why?

It’s simple. Positive thought. Successful PUAs think thoughts such as:

• “She’s got to be sleeping with someone, right? I’ll make it me.”
• “She’d love to meet someone like me!”
• “Whatever objections she has can be overcome.”
• “If I act now I could be sleeping with her today.”
• “At the very least I will learn something by talking with her.
• “There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback.”

The #1 differentiating factor between the masses and the champions in any profession, including that of a pick up artist, is the mind. Do you think professional sports stars like Roger Federer, David Beckam, or Lance Armstrong believe they can win any tie break, score a 30-yard free-kick, or cycle up a mountain in record time? Of course they do.
They are all mentally tuned to be winners, and along with their physical, material, and technical attributes have all achieved success at the highest levels in their respective fields.

Theory: ‘Locus of control’ is the technical term scientists use to refer to the extent to which individuals believe that they can control events that affect them. Individuals with a high internal locus of control believe that events result primarily from their own behaviour and actions. Those with a high external locus of control believe that powerful others, fate, or chance primarily determine events.

Champions, whether on the playing field, in the board room, or in the pickup game, tend to have a high internal locus of control.

Are Your Friends Really Friends?

Your circle of friends will have a big impact on your ability to sleep with women. You’ll be a lot better off with a wingman who thinks positively and with an open-mind than with a wingman that is negative and closed-minded.
That may seem like an obvious statement. But I have to mention it because often I meet people who stand-out a mile from their circle of friends, yet still associate with them. Sometimes this is a factor of their circumstances, but sometimes it is due to some misguided sense of loyalty.

No matter what the cause, the result is that their closed-minded and negative friends drag them down, infecting them with their limiting thoughts and their strong external locus of control beliefs – not just with women, but with the world at large too.

Therefore, associating yourself with positive-minded people who have at least a moderate internal locus of control will see your successes increase dramatically. It follows that you should always choose your friends carefully.

Next time someone tells you that you can’t get a woman, she might have a boyfriend, now is not the right time, or something similar, I urge you to remember this poem:

If you think you are beaten, you are,

If you think you dare not, you don’t;

If you like to win, but you think you can’t,

It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,

For out in the world we find,

Success begins with a fellow’s will –

It’s all in the state of mind,

If you think you are outclassed, you are,

You’ve got to think high to rise,

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before,

You can ever win a prize,

Life’s battles don’t always go,

To the stronger or faster man,

But soon or late the man who wins,

Is the man who thinks he can!

The Victor by C. W. Longenecker