“I Felt Like a Man Who Had Just Slept With Two Women In Under an Hour Should – Satisfied.”

IT was my last night out in Nottingham before returning to London. I headed to my favourite cocktail bar – standard. After being in the place for a few minutes, I saw this brunette dancing all seductively by the dance floor. A solid 8/10. I’d taken her number before, but never managed to pin her down to a date. She loved attention and was a tease for sure – every time I saw her, she had guys crowding around her.

Anyway, I got within a few feet of her, got her attention with a little eye contact and then said “Mel! How you doing?”

“Who are you?!” She said.

Now, this girl is always out partying from what I can tell, so I figure a bit of creativity was called for.

“And there I was thinking I left a lasting impression.”

“You look familiar. What’s your name?”

I hit her with my three letters line. She laughs and carries on dancing.

I move away showing disinterest in her seriously sexy dancing that she’s trying to catch my attention with.

Guys are crowding round her as usual.

I make my way 10 feet or so away from her and start chatting-up a couple of girls with my wingman – every now and then making eye contact with Mel.

She moves within about five feet of me dancing with her male friend (definitely queer).

I invite her over for a seat. She duly obliges. We talk.

She says she’s going home soon as she has to be up early in the morning for work.

I remain calm and play it cool.

“Yeah no worries, well I guess this is the last time I’ll be seeing you then Mel.”

“Why’s that then?” she says.

“Because I’m moving back down south tomorrow.”

She looks as if she’s thinking. We continue our conversation.

“So are you going to buy me and my friend a drink?” she asks.

(Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha – I’m thinking to myself, this girl is taking the biscuit, she wants a drink not only for herself, but for her gay mate too).

“Yeah of course, what you having?” I say.

“JD and Coke and a Bacardi and Coke please.”

“Yeah, no fears… Pass me the cash and I’ll get them for you.”

She looks bewildered and a little frustrated.

“No. You can buy them,” she says.

I laugh incessantly. “I’m saying I will buy them for you! Pass us the money and I’ll deal with it.”

She huffs and puffs and exclaims she’s going to the bar with her mate.

Two or three minutes later they return, drinks in hand.

“How do they taste?”

“Yeah. Good. Thanks!”

“Do you want to know a secret?” I ask.

“Go on then…”

“They always taste better when you pay for them yourself.”

She smirks slightly trying not to laugh.

“Do you want to know another secret?” I ask.

“What’s that then?”

I make up some spiel. The conversation flows. I need to take a pit-stop and so head for the toilet.

As I’m walking back she’s leaving with her gay mate.

I whisper in her ear, “Come back for a quick drink. It’ll be fun.” I say it with that look in my eyes as if to say ‘it’s on girl.’

“I can’t,” she says and leaves.

Two minutes later she returns. “Going to buy me that drink then?”

I sniff opportunity.

“I tell you what… Let’s move to XYZ bar up the road, the music is better and…. WAIT… what do you want to drink?”

“JD and Coke.”

“I don’t see why not. If you behave yourself that is. Come on, let’s move.”

We walk two minutes to the bar up the road. Pay to get in – oh, the shame. We head to the main area downstairs. I’m trying to close the deal on her too early. She sees her friends whilst I’m trying to get served at the bar. In a flash she’s gone. We’re split.

“Damn!” I’m thinking. The place is packed. How am I going to find her? After five minutes of frantic standing on my tip-toes I see her through the crowd talking to a guy. They seem friendly, maybe more – time to investigate.

I approach her side on. “You playing hide and seek with me?” I ask

She laughs. “No, I lost you at the bar. This place is rammed.”

I smell blood and go for the kill. “Do you want to get out of here?”

“Where? I’ve got to be up for work tomorrow morning,” she insists. 8am as I recall.

It’s already 2am!

“Well we’ve already done two bars I say, let’s head to my place… You don’t want to go into work hung over do you?”

“Definitely not.”

“Cool… Let’s have a coffee on my balcony to sober up, and I’ll order you a cab after.”

“You don’t have balcony.”

“Only one way to find out.” I grab her hand, squeeze slightly, and start leading her through the crowd to the exit.

Cut a short-story-long, we made the short walk back to my place. Bedded her in less than 10 minutes for about 10 minutes or so before she rejected all calls for a little ménage with my wingman.

She then tried to swindle me for £10 for a cab – unbelievable. Instead, I walked her outside my place, flagged a cab and let her fund her own way home.

I’m thinking: my role isn’t to finance your life, and where does all this money you’ve suddenly found keep coming from?

“I’m on fire,” I say to my wingman. It’s about 2.30am and I’m still game to get some more action, “Back to the club!”

We march back to the club, show our stamped fists to get in. Head downstairs. By this time the place is emptying out – it’s nearly 3am.

There’s a few people seated, a few at the bar; but the busiest place is the dance floor. It’s not normally my scene, but I head over, having scoped out a nice blonde. My wingman beats me to her – the bastard! She starts dancing with him all seductively.

I’m flying solo by the side of the dance floor, scoping like crazy for a minute or so. A short brunette appears from my right. Nothing to write home about, but I’m not thinking about writing home. I’m thinking about getting laid – again.

A guy off his nut, definitely on some sort of class A tries talking with her. She immediately dismisses him.

I leave it a moment or two and then whisper in her ear, “Looks like you’ve got the lines tonight… What are you saying to all these guys to get them talking to you?”

She can’t stop laughing, and then grabs my hand and leads me through the few people left on the dance floor over to the DJ. Some dirty dancing takes place. It turns out she is alone, a new girl in town. She’s staying out to “make friends” and enjoying herself, she explains.

“Let’s get out of here,” I whisper in her ear.

Before you know it we’re back at my place and she’s screaming with pleasure on my double bed – the double bed that’s fresh with another girl’s juices from an hour before.

“Knock. Knock.”

It’s my wingman at the door. He pokes his head through. “What’s happening Stevo?” I ask.

“Nothing buddy, just thought I’d see what all this noise is.”

The girl laughs.

“Sorry” I say (knowing that we’re working in synchrony here to double up on her).

“Amy was just enjoying herself.” She laughs and blushes a little.

“Yeah, he’ll do that to ya,” Stevo says. She laughs again.

The conversation flows for about 2-3 minutes with some general chit-chat.

“I’m cold,” Stevo says. “I might go to bed.”

“Amy, budge up a little, Stevo’s going to join us.”

“Yeah, get in,” she says.

I’m thinking, game on!!

I move my hand down her stomach about to finger her, but Stevo beats me to her!

I start kissing her neck. Within about 30 seconds she’s sucking me off. Within a minute or two Stevo is a few inches deep inside her. We’re trying not to get too visual. Some high-fiving takes place.

Over the next hour this young lady experienced some serious pleasure. I ended the night by getting a pizza and eventually hitting the sack about 5am.

Wish I hadn’t though, as I woke up the next morning smelling like pepperoni and pineapple. However, I felt like a man who had just slept with two women in under an hour should – satisfied.

Thank God I got some action that night. Didn’t fancy leaving Nottingham on my last night and having to wank myself silly like a safari-park chimp.